A Gift

On 15th June 2010, a young man, just shy of his 22nd birthday, stepped into the gates of a school in Pune. Armed with a freshly minted degree in physics, he had returned from Canada just a few weeks back. He carried an air of nervous confidence about him as he set out to do something that his degree had ill-prepared him for — be a teacher to a group of 3rd-grade children as a Teach For India Fellow. Looking out, he saw a brave new world around him — emerging from the cracks of the great recession of 2008.

On 15th June 2020, a slightly older man, just shy of his 32nd birthday, sat within the confines of his home in Bangalore. Armed with a cup of chai, he looked out and saw a brave new world around him — emerging from the quarantine of the great pandemic of 2020. He carried an air of quiet confidence about him — he had gotten used to doing things that his degrees had ill-prepared him for. Thinking of the younger man, he smiled fondly. It had been a while since they had connected so he thought he would write him a letter. Separated by 10 years, these two men were different people. And yet, essentially the same...

Dear bez,

Welcome home. You chose to come back and I know it wasn’t easy. But I am proud of you for it. It’s been 6 years since you were last in India and much has changed. And yet much remains the same.

I recognize the itch that brought you back — a desire to be more than you are. It was sparked early on as you watched endless re-runs of ‘Nadia’. It’s quite an odd thing — for a little Indian boy, 4 or 5 years old, to be transfixed by the story of a Romanian gymnast discovering herself through her craft. And yet you were. What’s more, you ended up spending the last 4 years in Montreal where she first achieved her perfect 10.

I see that you are still carrying that copy of Kipling’s ‘If’ — the one that you kept framed on your desk. It was one of many poems in your 9th Grade English textbook but for some reason, this one stayed with you. Maybe it was the poem’s invitation to find a middle path that connected with you, or the need to maintain a ‘Nadia-esque’ balance in the day to day of life.

Speaking of balance, you may be feeling slightly off-center right now. You don’t know if you made the right decision to come back. You are nervous about letting go of one path and stepping into another — one that on the surface seems uncertain and risky. You have no idea what the future holds. You are hoping that someone somewhere will give you the answers. You might even be hoping that that someone is me.

This is the point where I tell you that I have no answers to give. This is where I take a leaf out of those Hallmark Cards and proclaim the cliche that is often touted as a ‘capital T’ truth — that you and only you can find the answers to your questions.

But I won’t do that. Not because there is something wrong with that cliche but because I don’t believe it captures the full story. In fact, there have been numerous occasions in the past when I knew the answers, knew exactly what needed to be done, but failed to do it. And there have also been moments when I did succeed — when I was able to keep my ‘knowing’ alive during the doing’ itself.

What made the difference in those moments was having access to a ‘mirror’ around me that gave me pause…and gently nudged me to see if my action was indeed aligned with my intention.

As you set out to be a teacher to students, I felt such a mirror could be useful to you as well; to help you keep the ‘capital T’ truths front and center in your everyday life and see your reflection in them.

I have no doubt that much will change in the next 10 years. But I trust that much will also remain the same.

And you still feel that itch :)

As you step into the 2010s, here is my own version of the poem ‘If’, which I would like to offer as the gift of a mirror to help you on your way:

If you can see the world through broken eyes, but not see the world as broken,

If you can help your fellow humans in need, but not let your fellow humans feel needy,

If you can give your whole to a part, but not let that part become your whole,

If you can discover where society is mirrored in your self, but not let society define your self,

If you can learn to organize, but not be trapped by organization,

If you can approach your work not as a plan to be executed but as a seed aching for new growth,

If you can exercise your power to make space for truth, but always remember to hold it with love,

If you can find your strength in the pack, and the pack can find it in you,

If you can act in this instant, and the next, and thus for a lifetime,

If you can do all this as the earthworm tills the soil, always present, seldom visible,

Then you will be the change that you wish to see,

Then you will know that eternal inner movement — from me to we.

With Love,

Bez